random musings

ok, why is it that on the dating scene, the ones you’re attracted to have grating personalities, and the ones you click with, you don’t find attractive in the least… obviously, we all have our basic staples we’re looking for: common goals, spiritual life and purpose, maybe some common interests. and in the grand cosmic scheme, two souls are brought together by a higher power. but in the delicate balance between what we can selflessly give the other person, and what we gain from such a relationship, i pose a few questions:

- how important is physical attraction? when you find “the one” you’ll be together the rest of your lives. so it makes sense to opt for the ‘click’ over the ‘warm fuzzies’, right? but is it fair to your partner if you’re less than perfectly satisfied? or when you have that best-friend click, does the rest fail to seem significant?

- so how far do you take that? are we settling when we go for ‘cute’ or are we just overly influenced by what society deems beautiful? is the ever-eluding ‘melt’ — as in the butterflies in the stomach, my knees turn to butter when she walks into a room, and every minute away from her drags on for an eternity — eluding us only until we find “the one” or, after our first love has faded, are we no longer capable of the same degree of melt that we once were? no one has made me melt in a LONG time, like years, really, and i’d hate to think that it would never happen again.

- are these imperfect connections simply signs that we need to keep walking, or are they signs that no connection will have everything we have been looking for, and we need to slow our pace, sniff the flowers and breathe a little more deeply this time? that a little more grace will reap the same in return?

last relationship, i thought a chill personality or good heart would overshadow my lower levels of attraction, or social differences, etc. — but that doesn’t happen, does it? the optimist in me talks the rest of me into pouring time and effort into something that just turns ugly in the end. but that’s a topic for another evening…